Monday, March 12, 2007

Too Much Skin!

It's that time of year again. The weather is warming and the students are shedding their clothes. As a Major Female Role model, all of my clothes conform to school rules -- the fingertip rule for skirts and no exposed shoulders or midriff while kids are in the building. Heck, I even wear nylons up until the last week in June.

Three years ago I got fed up with our dress code. There were too uses of the word No. That was when I decided to put the code into rhyme. A verse a day was read during the morning announcements and three verses a week made their appearance in the stairwells, at a line per landing. After a few days, the kids were pointing at each other and chanting the refrain "Too Much Skin!"

In a few moments I will share those older verses but first let me tell you that I have once again been commissioned to put the dress code in to verse. My colleagues agree that the tag line "Too Much Skin" was a good one and that I should stick with it. I, however, like to branch out and am looking for a new tag line and verse structure. "Put On Some Clothes" has already been ruled out by the same colleagues. I am, therefore, actively soliciting new tag lines ... As for verse structure, last time I used "Burma Shave" this time I think I am aiming for Seuss.

And now ... Too Much Skin, a series of original verses written by Devorah Zamansky with contributions from Squidette Zamansky, Renee Zamansky and members of the SheepThrills Yahoo Group.

If your belly is bare
When you touch up your hair
Then you don’t want to share
Too Much Skin

If you stick to the seat
In the worst of the heat
Then it doesn’t look sweet
Too Much Skin

If your pants are a sagging
And the kids are all gagging
And the girls are a grabbing
Too Much Skin

If your shirt is so tight
That boys gasp with delight
Then you know that I’m right
Too Much Skin

If your tush we can see
When you bend at the knee
Then you know it must be
Too Much Skin

If your bosom is peeking
Out your shirt when you’re speaking
Then you know that you’re leaking
Too Much Skin

If your shoulders are glowin’
Then we all are a knowin’
That you must be showin’
Too Much Skin

If your shorts are so short
That kids laugh and they snort
You know what they thought
Too Much Skin

If your knees and your thighs
Bring out oohs, aahhs and sighs,
Then you know that we cries
Too Much Skin

If your sweat is a pooling
And the boys all are drooling
Then you know that you’re cooling
Too Much Skin

If your legs are all icky
‘Cause the seat is so sticky
Then you know why we’re picky
Too Much Skin

If your head and your toes
Are all that now shows
The you know that there’s Not
Too Much Skin

If everyone throngs
to ogle your thong
your dress choice is wrong
Too much skin

If your pecs are a chillin’
And the girls are a thrillin’
Then you know we are trillin’
Too Much Skin

If too much you reveal
when you sit, stand or kneel
you will hear the appeal
"Too Much Skin!"


Cookie said...

Love it!

Although, I'm thinking musical theater over here. Oh, and I vote Too Much Skin. Why mess with something so catchy?

Mary said...

Wonderful--love 'em! Having worked in a large NYC HS, I know from where you're coming from. I vote for Too Much Skin--says it all.

KnittyOtter said...

That's really cute. :D

Warrior Knitter said...

There's a lotta talent in them there verses!

Anne K. said...

Devorah, this is hilarious!

May I humbly add...

Although it is spring
Please remember, Miss Thing
Keep yourself in a sling
Too Much Skin.

If you skirt is so scanty
You show lots of panty
I'm telling your auntie
Too Much Skin

If your top is so short
It could land you in court
I must simply retort:
Too Much Skin

We don't wish to view
So danged much of you!
It's sad, but it's true
Too Much Skin

Sprite said...

What a great idea! When my oldest sister was teaching there were always problems with dress code, which seemed hard pressed to get the kids to follow. Also problems with wearing banned colors. Red was an absolute forbidden color. Do you have certain colors that are forbidden, too? I think it's important for the kids to learn to dress appropriately for the occassion. Some of the jr. high and high school girls here look like they're audtioning for street walker gigs. *frowns*

*laughs* my latest blog photo totally won't make the class room! (of course, it wasn't taken for the class room either .. lol .. an old model shot .. well, not that old) Great verses, great idea. I'm going to pass it along to my sister for when she goes back to teaching.

*big hugs*