I left the meeting with the answer (essentially) "what's past is past."
It wasn't a straight forward answer but neither was the request straight forward.
Have I forgiven?
Was there anything to forgive?
It's one of those philosophical issues where I'm just not sure. The person acted in what they felt was their own best interest. I tend to be more altruistic in my actions, even if they cost me.
Can everyone be like me? No.
Can I expect everyone to do as I would? No
Can I teach my children and hope that they follow my example? Yes.
A couple of weeks ago I made a comment that basically gave someone the benefit of the doubt. My son remarked "that's my old mommy! You're willing to think the best of people again." It made me realize just how far I had sunk in such a short time.
I'd lost a part of myself over the last school year. I'd started seeing the bad instead of the good in people. Seeing ulterior motives everywhere. And the scary part is that they were there.
I hated that of myself.
Call me a Pollyanna. I want to believe that all people are good. Or that they at least have some good in them.
Last year I learned differently and, unfortunately, brought it home to my kids.
Yes, there are bad, and even evil, people in this world. And sometimes you will run across them. That is, however, no reason to act in kind.
I came out of these experiences a stronger person. One who I hope is even more sensitive to people. To their nuances. And to the effect my actions can have on them.
Is there a message in this all?
Only if you think there is.