Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Saga of the Squirrel: Act 2

Setting: My office which has the usual four walls but with doors in both the northern and eastern walls leading to other offices. The Southern wall is entirely taken up with radiators and windows. The Western wall is taken up with old fashioned built-in floor to way-high (not ceiling) cabinets. There is no way to directly access my office from the hallway.

And so on to our tale …

So, there I was, minding my own business, bopping around the building and in and
out of the offices actually getting things accomplished. I had left the top sash of my window open a little because unlike much of the school, my office is rather overheated.

Now, I rarely open my bottom sash and when I do I only open it a crack because
squirrels seem to love our school. On this day the bottom sash was not open because even though my office was hot, I did not need a 20 degree breeze across my keyboard.

After finishing my stroll of the facilities, I returned to my office where I noticed a squirrel on my window sill -- inside. Normally this is not a big deal but as I said, the bottom sash was not open and the upper sash was a good 8 feet up from the window sill. I momentarily panicked – after all, I had to get to the window in order to open it to let the squirrel out. My secretary closed the door from my office to her office and I closed the door from my office to the adjacent office. I then retrieved a window pole from
another room and set out to enter my office from my secretary's office. I
figured I would use the pole to push the window open from the bottom without getting too close to the now panicked squirrel.

In the meantime the squirrel was running around the room jumping desperately in an effort to get out through the top sash. There were no curtains on the outer windows and the shades offered only a slippery surface for the squirrel’s sharp claws. Returning with the window pole I put my face to the window just as the squirrel gave a flying jump AT
the door and caught itself, briefly, on my door curtain. What I saw was squirrel
belly and claws -- my face was protected by mere millimeters of 60 year old glass. Yes, I know I was on the other side but I have to admit that I screamed.

Once again I approached the door, hand on the knob when the blasted squirrel flew AGAIN at my door. Why he didn't go for the other door where my male colleague was watching, I have no idea.

At that point a braver teacher than I observed the situation and cooing “poor squirrel” opened the door, calmly walked to the window and opened it. The squirrel left as fast as it could and we closed all the windows.

For days afterwards my office stank of scared squirrel.

Ironically enough, there was a squirrel trap in my office. (Hav-a-heart if you care.) However, since it was in my office I couldn't get it and this squirrel, unlike the one we bought the trap for (act 1) WANTED to leave.

The image of squirrel belly flying at my face is one I will never forget.
The contents of this post are the sole property of Devorah Zamansky and may not be reproduced without permission.


Cookie said...

Honey, you need danger money at that school for the wildlife.

Susan said...

I think you need some khakis and one of those Aussie hats! What an exciting place to work.

Dave Daniels said...

Awww, poor squirrel.
Awww, poor Squid.
Doncha love encounters with nature?
Thanks for the funny story.