Saga of the Squirrel Bird

The new windows in school are great! They have more glass per square inch and less sashing overall. They are also relatively clean. It is this vast expanse of clean glass that led to a recent problem in the library.

***

Happily, I was minding my own business, and harassing young people about dress code, when I was hailed by a student. "Mrs. Squid, Ms. X needs you right now. There's a bird in the library."

I glance at the kid and think to myself "what am I supposed to do about it?"

Entering the library, I look around and see no sign of a bird. From past experience I know that they do tend to leave signs once trapped in a room. No such items greeted me here.

Having located Ms. X, I am guided to the bird. It is hovering at the top of a window, trying to get out.

At this point I must interrupt this tale to explain that the Library is an open space two stories in height with windows that start about 6 feet off the ground and go all the way up the the ceiling 20 or more feet above their start. They are big. And, they do not open from the top but rather open in the middle. This leaves the bottom and top rows of window panes solidly in place and immovable.


Not 2 feet below the bird is an open window. He cannot, however, seem to find it.

I calmly assess the situation and reach for a window pole. What I intend to do with this item is beyond me. Poking the bird seems to be a good idea. If I poke it, maybe it will fly elsewhere and discover the half dozen open windows in the room.

Hmm ... it's too high. Let's climb on a desk. Ah, much better. Poke. Poke.

At this point you must imagine the bird getting annoyed and flying off. To the top of another window. Across the room.

Off I traipse after it with a few young people in tow. Up on another table I repeat the poking.

Flit -- off to another window he goes. All of a sudden the bird sees a passing flock of ... you guessed it ... birds. He tries to join them but the window glass gets in the way. Poor bird.

Move another desk.

Poke. Poke.

Flit.

Wait! Is there another window pole in the room? Yes? If one person pokes the bird, the other can try to direct it to an open window.

Sounds good to us.

Poke. Poke.

Stupid bird flies to the one window in the room that lacks the ability to open.

Move another desk.

Poke. Poke.

The bird falls. Awww ...

Young man hoists himself up on to the window ledge and grabs the bird. Umm ... how is he going to get down with a bird in his hands?

Second young man hops up on the table and grabs the bird, first young man lowers himself to the floor and takes the bird from the second young man shouting "close all the windows."

Um ... 90 degree day ... nope, not going to happen.

First young man shows the bird around and makes a hasty exit from the back door to the sidewalk below. He looks around a bit and decides that it is too close to the school. Running off, he finally releases the bird into a nearby city park.

You can't make this stuff up.

Squirrels in Class

With renovation come problems. Most buildings wind up with some sort of issues with mice or rats or insect-type vermin as the property is torn apart and reconstructed. We have issues with squirrels.

Several years ago, squirrel-proof screens were installed on the windows in my suite. These worked very well until this autumn, when they were removed so that the windows could be replaced. All of sudden the squirrels were anxious to get into school. Blog readers have suggested that maybe they are looking for a job. Since my office seemed to be their main destination, the theory made sense. Until today. Now I think that they are looking for a diploma.

This morning started with the usual this and that all preventing me from actually setting in until about an hour after arrival. By 9:15 I was finally sitting down to do some paperwork and was just getting into it when my phone rang. "Mrs. Squid, there is a squirrel in my room and I heard that you were the person to call," said the trembling voice on the phone. "On my way!" I responded, stopping only to alert the custodian and grab a garbage can. What I am planning to do with the can I can only guess. After years of experience in this field, I know that it is unlikely that I will be able to trap it with a recycling bin. Still, one can always hope.

As I enter the room I am greeted by excited students and the teacher points to a furry object in the closet. At first I do not see the tail for what it is -- it just looks like a shadow and I think that someone is playing a joke on me. Then it moves. Knowing what might come next, I tell the teacher to take the class to the library and give dirty looks to the kids who want to grab their jackets from the closet. This, by the way, is when my students prove that they have no knowledge of animal craft as they chatter and yelp their way out of the room. City kids.

The custodian arrives and, after assessing the situation, sends for his trap. He flushes the squirrel out of the closet and we watch as it limps along the floor. In to a corner it goes and then it goes right to ... the radiator housing. We are feeling pretty sorry for this guy. He appears to be hurt and we want to get him back outdoors where he can nurse his wounds, and leave us alone. Once inside the radiator housing, however, it attempts to climb the inside walls to the second floor. Fear flashes across our faces as we realize that we might have sent it up to the Junior High School. Oops. Something, however, prevents the squirrel from getting higher then about 4 feet off the ground, and we see it descend back to our level. At this point it seems prudent for us to leave the poor guy alone and we make a quiet exit -- and I grab the students jackets.

Having returned the jackets and reassured the students that we will not kill the squirrel I try to continue with my day. A sign is posted on the door of the affected room, directing the next class to a different room. Just before the next period is due to begin I get the urge to check the trap. Lo and behold it is closed and our poor furry friend is trapped inside. A quick trip to the park and up a tree he runs.

Will he be back tomorrow? Does he really want a diploma or just a potato chip? And how many of his friends are in our pipe casings?

Back to School Blues

I love my job but I hate going back after a vacation. Everyone is somewhat out of sorts and that includes my own squidlings. One greeted me this morning with an "I'm very emotional this morning" and the other burst in to tears four times before he got to school. One was put to rights with a hug and a cup of tea -- and a "isn't puberty grand," and the other with a new lunch box, a strap for said lunch box (actually an old lunch box dug out of the closet), a pile of clean shirts and a promise that the wet spot on his pants would dry (very wet snow fell from the car on to his pants).

Once at work I dealt with an issue that had kept me awake all night. One of those "dang, I forgot to do X before the break and it is going to really mess me up now" moments. After 2 hours of my assistant dealing with it she suddenly realized that yes, I had asked her to do it before the break and not only that, but she had dealt with it before break and we were not in trouble. In other words, I had done what I thought I had forgotten to do and she had done what I thought I forgot to tell her to do. So, tonight I am exhausted all because I was actually properly efficient. I just hate when that happens.

My new windows are in and look good. The site supervisor made nice to us and did all of the finishing work. The classrooms got the finishing piecemeal -- windows one week, plastering the next, painting the third week and finally shades. I came back to plastered, sealed windows with shades ... and a good squirrel story.

Apparently, while they had the windows out, the squirrels came in and ran all around the suite of offices. They even set off the building alarm system when stowaways escaped into the corridor. Finally, they were herded out a side door. Evidence of their presence was on my desk. Blech!

And now it is Tuesday and I will have the pleasure of seeing Yo Yo Ma at Carnegie Hall tonight. Weeee!

Some Quick Thoughts

One: from a squid point of view, this site is a great place to waste time.

Two: from a squirrel point of view, this article is enlightening.

Three: I received an email from the site supervisor for the school construction job. He let me know that he was careful to put the baby squirrels in to my desk drawer when they replaced my windows. Love a contractor with a sense of humor.

Four: Photos of all the finished objects from this break will be posted later today. For those in need of some quick knowledge ... I finished all of the projects I set forth, and then some.

Squirrel Love

O.k., loving me, not each other. I can't get pictures of them on top of the air conditioner.
Yes, these were taken through very dirty glass with a cell phone so the quality is not the best. I will take an oath attesting to the fact that this guy is just waiting for me to open my window so he can steal my post-its.

On Wednesday when I did not have time to eat, he teased me by gnawing on a bagel out there. Truly a New York squirrel.

Cold, Cold, Cold!

Temperature at time of departure: 10°
Temperature upon arrival at work: 12°

Status of heat at work: none.

Yup. That is how the day started. The problem? The oil filter in the temporary boiler ... get this ... froze. The technician was able to make an immediate diagnosis and the building was starting to warm again by 9 a.m. This will not happen again. You really do not want to hear how I know that this will not happen again. It is not an environmentally friendly solution. It will, however, guarantee that our students and staff can walk around without hats and mittens on.

My squirrelly employee kept coming by and sunning himself on my window sill. I would swear that he was waiting for me to open the window so he could come in and warm up.

Proof!

For those of you who still think that my squirrel stories are tall tales, I present proof in form of photographic evidence. Here you see two well gnawed window frames and one that was left alone -- that is the one near the window that they use as the main access to my desk.









My understanding is that these windows are not long for this world and should be history by the end of the month. Then the poor squirrels (not!) will have to sharpen their teeth elsewhere. Perhaps, just maybe, in the park?

In other news, a package of fun fur and needles arrived today from Susan! Included in the package was this:a glossy magazine all about Oklahoma. This is my next reading project. Red Dirt country, here I come! Thank you!

Knitting-wise we have this:a partially completed Boogaj bag

and Sis's hat.

Beware that visiting this blog on Sunday may result in an overdose of proud Mama. Just warning you.

Goal Oriented Weekend

I have finally finished my sister's mittens. Now to pack them up and send them off.

This weekend is all about finishing. Finishing Squidette's scarf. Finishing my third muppet fur hat. Finishing putting the school blanket panels together. Finishing some stuff for work. Finishing the camp search process for Little Squid.

I also hope to start Kid Sister's hat (to match the mittens) and my Shut Up and Knit Your Cabin Cove project.

Today Squidette auditioned for a spot in a free music camp. If she gets in then we have to find 5 weeks worth of camp for Little Squid. We already decided that he will not go back to the same place they have gone the last few summers. They really have no interest in gymnastics or sports so other then the convenience factor (and that is HUGE) there is really no attachment for it. I admit that for several years we have used camp as a way to make sure that the kids spend at least some of the summer interacting with other kids. It was also a way to give mom and dad two weeks of a few hours a day to just be adults and be with each other. The decision is now that if Squidette does not get in to this camp, then we are dispensing with camp for the summer all together. They will spend some time with my folks and we will do some more extensive camping. Last summer they actually made some friends while camping so the "being with other kids" thing is there.

On the Squirrel front ... he sat on my desk again today and then broke in to my next-door-colleague's office. I think Cookie is right and he wants a job. Hey, he should be an inexpensive addition to payroll. After all, he'll work for peanuts.

Saga of the Squirrel: Act 5

The events in this Act occur on the Monday following the previous Act. Said previous act occurred on a Friday so the squirrel, if it was there to begin with, had my office to himself for the entire weekend.

As I approached my office I wondered. Was my office in a shambles? Did the squirrel eat my box of hot chocolate? Was the squirrel even there? And what about Naomi?

At the door to my office I paused and peered through the lace curtains on the outer door. All seemed clear so I unlocked the door and ventured in. I heard nothing and all seemed fine in my secretary's area so I peered into my own office. I glanced under the desk and noticed that the trap had been triggered but, at first glance I did not see an animal. I figure the custodian had probably kicked it when he cleaned and caused it to snap closed. Then I noticed the furry thing moving within. Yes!

I grabbed the trap, took it outside and released the furry invader. That squirrel took off like a shot! He ran south as fast as his legs could carry him. Hopefully he was smart enough not to run on to the highway.

And so ends the Saga of the Squirrel ... for now.

Saga of the Squirrel: Act 4

When we last encountered our squirrel it had been sighted in my office and was not witnessed leaving. I spent the entire day working in the office with no sense that I was being watched ...

Saga of the Squirrel: Act 4

Even though I left work at a normal hour that night, I did not go straight home and hence was not there when the phone rang with the fateful message. "The squirrel is still in your office.”

Damn.

I listened to the message and concluded that my somewhat timid colleague saw the fuzzy little creature and panicked, slamming my doors closed and trapping the poor guy. I was not a happy camper.

The next morning I came in to a closed, dark office. The window was open. I went into my colleague’s office and discussed the situation.

Apparently when my colleague entered my office to make a copy, he had encountered a jumping, spitting, furious squirrel and had paged for the custodian-on-duty but the
C.O.D had not appeared by the time my colleague had to leave. My office was left closed up over night. In the a.m., my colleague, the head Custodian and one of his assistants had carefully examined my office without uncovering the squirrel. They opened the window and left the office closed up.

I decided to leave it alone for a while -- after all, the squired had holed up for 6
hours the day before -- and patrolled the building for a while. After an hour or so I
returned to my office to find everything was the same. One of the custodial
staff was there and he carefully examined everything again and said to call him
if we saw or heard it.

For the remainder of the day I worked in my office, with the 12 degree breeze blowing across my keyboard -- tempered by the 90 degree radiations from my radiator so it
wasn't too bad. Muddy footprints were all over the office and I periodically discovered some hidden squirrel poop on my papers and window sill. The furry intruder did not show his face leaving most to conclude that he had departed. Not being quite as confident, I once again left the baited trap under my desk and, at the end of the day, left for the weekend.

The end?

***
For those non-believers, this photo was snapped from my desk this Friday.

Squirrel on the Prowl

Last night the contractors removed most of the scaffolding outside of the stretch of building that includes my office and those rooms adjacent to it. In the process they seem to have stranded at least one young squirrel in the pillar between the windows of my colleague's office.

When a lone squirrel on the window ledge was brought to my attention I scoffed at it and went back to work. After all, the squirrels are quite capable of climbing the brickwork of our school. Surely it could find its way down.

Half an hour later I was roused from my work by cries of alarm from next door. Somehow, the squirrel had entered the office through the closed windows and was prowling around the office looking for a way out. It jumped to the floor, wandered under my friends desk and conference table and looked like it wanted to cross to my office and the yarn stash. Gasp!

I took action, stepping in to the infested office, garbage can in hand. I closed the door behind me while the window was opened by another occupant of the room. As I slowly moved in the direction of the squirrel it thought better of its actions and found the exit. Phew!

Personally, I think it was looking for some cardboard on which to build the house it is designing with the wood taken from my window frame and the glue that was subsequently snatched. Yesterday, it, or one of its brethren, entered the Main Office and poked around for a bit before leaving, empty pawed.

Tomorrow should be interesting. When I left work, the contractors were hard at work removing my old, wood-framed window from its opening. When I return in the morning, I will find a brand new, metal framed window in its place. No more staring at squirrel gnawed wood. What are the poor squirrels going to do for amusement? What am I going to do with no squirrels to watch? Oh wait, I know! Work!

Squirrels like glue?

Apparently, while I was off doing other stuff yesterday, a squirrel decided to enter my office via the open window and make off with my glue stick. I didn't even know I had a glue stick on my desk!

The squirrel was seen to enter my office and scamper across my desk. As my secretary made to close the doors so that he would not get in to the rest of the building, she saw him ignore the bag of M&Ms, pick up the glue stick, turn around and leave the same way he came in. He was then seen, outside on the scaffolding, using his mouth to try to get the cover off of the glue stick.

My secretary swears this is true and has another staff member as a witness. She was surprised that he did not even mess up my papers. If you have ever seen my desk you would know that this was a kind of odd comment. How would anyone know if he messed up my papers given the state that they are usually in? We all have our moments.

Squirrel Snack?

Tell me why, with the incredibly mild winter we are having, did a squirrel have to come right up to my office window and start gnawing on the frame? (While I was sitting there able to witness this audacious act.)

Isn't there enough food in the park for him?

Isn't there enough food just lying around the perimeter of the school for him?

Is he getting one last taste in before they finish replacing the windows?

Does he realize that the third floor windows are now framed in ungnawable metal?

Does he just want to drive me nuts?!

Inquiring minds want to know.